The lady in ReD

Self-Care: What To Expect When

When your child was a baby, you did everything for her. You change her diapers, wiped her face when she spat up, and burped her after meals. As she gets older, however, she’ll learn to do more things for herself, from pulling off her shirt to getting her own bowl of cereal. This is the "I want to do it myself" age. Watching your child grow increasingly independent can be bittersweet, but learning to take care of herself is an important part of your child’s personal and social development.

Skills she’ll work at Undressing: While your child may already know how to undress herself, around now she’s likely to go through several clothing changes a day (just because she can), and that’s fine toddlers are notoriously messy anyway and often end up with their clothes streaked with food or finger paint. On the flip side, though if your toddler resists changing her clothes when you want her to, consider giving up. This is the time to relax our expectations a bit.

Catching a sneeze: Your toddler can start to follow some basic rules of hygiene. An important one: sneezing into her elbow, as opposed to her hand or the air. Preschools teach this technique to keep children from spraying germs everywhere and passing along germs by touch.

Brushing her teeth: Many toddlers insist on brushing their teeth. Let your child make a first pass, but follow up with a more thorough cleaning yourself. Make sure she uses only a pea-size drop of fluoride toothpaste; she’s apt to swallow some instead of spitting it all out, and too much fluoride is not a good thing. Your toddler won’t be capable of adequate tooth brushing until much later, possibly not until she’s 6 or 7.

I takes quite a bit of coordination for a child to hold a toothbrush and maneuver it around her mouth so she’s really cleaning in there. Let her do her bit, though; it makes her feel grown up and gets her into a good habit for life.

Using the toilet: Some toddlers develop the physical and cognitive skills necessary to begin toilet training by around 18 to 24 months, while others aren’t ready until age 3 or 4. Your child will let you know when it’s time.

Preparing Breakfast: Your toddler my not be capable of fetching a bowl, filling it with cereal, and pouring on the milk all by herself, ad you may not be capable of watching her try. You can break down these tasks, however, and let her do as much as possible. For example, have her bring you a plastic bowl (from a low cabinet), and after you’ve poured the cereal, let her pour the milk from measuring cup.

You can also encourage your toddlers independence by putting healthy snacks within her reach, so she can get a box of raisins or a handful of crackers on her own. She may drop some on the floor but applaud her efforts anyway.

What you can do

Encouragement is key. Whenever your toddler tries her hand at a new skill, tell her you’re proud she tried (regardless of the result) and urge her to try again. Don’t always jump in to help; it’s essential that she have enough time to master tasks on her own, at her own pace. Try not to pressure her before she’s ready, either. And be flexible: if allowing her to prepare her own breakfast means you’ll have to sweep cereal off the floor, go with the flow.

What to watch out for

Children develop skills differently, some more quickly than others, but if your child hasn’t shown interest in doing anything for herself by the time she’s 2, or if she seems incapable of handling the most basic tasks such as feeding herself with utensils, talk to her pediatrician.

What’s ahead 

Advances in self-care skills come fast and furious during the preschool years. Most kids have mastered the basics of self-care dressing, washing their hands, feeding themselves, and going to the bathroom (but not necessarily wiping!) by their fourth birthday.

As the months and ears roll by, your child will get better and better at meeting her own needs. You’ll blink, a few years will go by, and she’ll be able to tie her shoes and shower or bathe by herself.